I'm a homebody, and that's okay.
I've found this platform to become one that I almost depend on now, for my own sanity and now a place to share my thoughts and current events. I think we've all had a pretty hard 2020, some of us with better moments than others, but everyone has had a hard year nonetheless. Truthfully, I don't think I'd be half of who I am today without my little corner of the internets and I don't think I'd have half the knowledge I have now either.
homebody: a person who likes to stay at home, especially one who is perceived as unadventurous.
I realized pretty quickly into lockdown that I do very much enjoy my own company, and I do enjoy being alone at home. I like my own space, and that's okay. But what I didn't realize is how often I turn down plans to simply be alone in my own space, and how much that's come to impact my social life. A friend said to me recently that 'I need to get out more', and I've never wanted to agree and disagree at the same time more in my entire life - because being a homebody is okay. It's the thought of security in your own home shielded from the outside world. Some would call that anxiety, but I don't think I'm an anxious person anyway considering how loud and outgoing I feel when I actually am with friends and outside of my own bubble, I just think it's the feeling of not being judged and not having to interact with anyone that I particularly don't want to. Whilst I know that that is such a statement to make, that I don't want to be around people, I feel like many can also relate. It doesn't hurt to be an introverted extrovert, nor does it hurt to be so amazingly outgoing that people would die for a slice of your confidence, as long as you know what you want, there's nothing wrong with how you go about doing it.
For someone that spends much of her time in her home, often inviting people over, I've also realized that I do genuinely enjoy company, but sometimes it just gets too much and I begin to feel crowded, I start to panic and need my own space. This isn't something I've really spoken to anyone about before, nor do I feel as though I need to speak to someone about it, but I just want to reassure someone that feels the same that you're not bloody crazy. I promised myself that this would be a safe space for myself and that I would share everything I can with my readers, and I feel a duty to do it now, especially in times like this.
I don't really know where I'm going with this and I don't really know what the point of this was, but I do know that people feel the same as myself and that is totally OKAY.
Until next time,